Two fingers on the tablecloth: the quiet thank-you of a Guangzhou teahouse

At nine in the morning in a Guangzhou teahouse, much of the talk around the table is silent. Someone refills your cup, and you thank them with two fingers on the tablecloth.

The two-finger thank-you

The gesture is called kòu zhǐ lǐ (叩指礼), the finger-knock courtesy. When someone pours for you, bend your index and middle fingers and tap the table beside your cup two or three times. Between close friends one forefinger is enough.

Older diners explain it with a story. An emperor travelling south in disguise poured tea for his servant, who could not kneel without giving him away, so he bowed with his fingers instead. You do not need the story to use the gesture, but it explains why the tap reads as gratitude and not impatience.

Asking for water without asking

At yum cha (饮茶, yǐn chá) the pot is topped up with hot water, not fresh leaves. To ask for more, leave the lid resting ajar or set it upside down on the pot. A server passing with a kettle will see it and fill the pot without a word. Most dim sum halls add a per-person tea charge, chá wèi fèi (茶位费), printed on the order sheet, so the refills are already paid for.

Who pours, and in what order

Whoever holds the pot fills the other cups first and their own last. Stop at about seven-tenths full. When you put the pot down, turn the spout toward the wall or an empty seat, not toward anyone at the table.

茶满欺客，酒满敬人。(Chá mǎn qī kè, jiǔ mǎn jìng rén: a brimming cup of tea slights a guest; a brimming cup of wine honours one.)

Nobody tests visitors on any of this. Staff at Taotaoju or Panxi Restaurant will refill a tourist's pot however the lid sits. But the first time you tap the table and the person across from you nods without breaking their sentence, you feel less like a visitor at the table.